I ♥ MM

A traditional legend says that for males if your right eye bag is twitching, it means something that will make you very happy is about to happen. My right eye bag twitched for MONTHS, I went from maybe I'll fall in love to maybe I'll win the lottery to maybe I have a nerve problem with my face... until two days ago when I confirmed my happiness...

I met my idol of 10 years.....MORNING MUSUME!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

They announced that they'll be visiting Taiwan this week to promote their 10 years anniversary best hit album, and will have several events planned for the fans. I'm a official fan club member of Hello Project, the recording label Morning Musume belong to. You have to pay $1300 NT a year, and you can get very minor discounts when you buy their stuff. Just when I thought the membership meant diddly squat, they announced that members can attend a very special mini concert when they are here.

MONEY. WELL. SPENT.

Another event will be a 'handshake' event, but you need to buy two of their albums and get two tickets in order to attend. Over the weekend I went around Taipei's record store, and they were all sold out!! WTF!? Since when did Morning Musume start to sell out in Taiwan!? I was WTFing myself all the way to the event on Monday night, the fan club only mini concert...luckily they have more albums available so I quickly grabbed them like meat.

The venue can host about 350 ppl, but almost 600 signed up. The event was actually very poorly planned... too many people, too disorganized... and delayed for almost an hour!!! But, when they appeared on stage........they were.......................angels......................glowing........and glowing........and glowing................... The crowd went CRAZY, as did I. I was like...4 meters away from them....OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

I OMGed myself home that night, and repeated the following conversation to several friends over MSN:

Me: IM IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE
Friend: REALLY? Who is it, PIX NOW!
Me: MORNING MUSUME~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Friend: (nothing for five minutes) ..... oh god not again...
ME: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE PASSION!!

And tonight at work, I couldn't do a thing...cuz I know I'll soon be within handshaking distance... I clipped my nails, and my colleague offered hand lotion... and as soon as the clock hit 5:30pm, I was out of the office!

Before it was my turn I kept on thinking...what should I say to them, KAWAIIIII? DAISUKI?????????????? OMG OMG OMG

But, when I finally stepped on stage...I blanked. They were angels standing there...glowing...glowing...glowing... I couldn't let out even a sound, and all the Musume gave me full eye contact with the sweetest smile... and they were pros at this. Their smiles didn't look fake like those you'd find with flight attendants... they all look genuine (yeah yeah I know they faked it), but, when they see you they gave this "Oh hey it's YOU, long time no see!!!!" look.

It was...surreal.... O_O The whole thing lasted like...ten seconds, and it didn't feel real. My cousin who went with me said everyone STOMPED onto the stage, but were all floating when they exited... as did I. Later we went to get some hot pot, and I couldn't help myself and drifted off into those ten seconds with my mouth open.... I couldn't pull myself together until my cousin threatened to splash hot soup on my face.

One day I will make the ultimate pilgrimage to Japan and attend their concert....

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM I ♥ MM

By the way those of you who are laughing at me, YOU HAVE NO PASSION IN LIFE! I PITY YOU... PITY

My Company Is Retarded

Last week everyone in the office received a hardhat. Then, an email from General Affairs officially explained the hardhat. The purpose of the hardhat is to protect our little heads during earthquakes, and/or fires. And it will also be used during our fire drills. If we decide to leave the company, the hardhat must be returns to General Affairs department.

Unofficially, the hardhat can also be used as a flame shield during our monthly Summary Meetings, Agent In Progress & Sales Meetings, or whenever we have to go to the customers... or whenever we have to fend for our lives from the wrath of our customers .

When my company's VP saw the hardhat, he asked "What's this for." "Earthquakes and fire drills, apparently.", I replied.

"Hahaha, seriously, what is this for?", Mr. VP promptly said.
".......... no seriously, earthquakes and fire drills", I answered.
Then we looked at each other blankly for five seconds... "alright...", Mr. VP walked back to his seat.

I guess we've seen stranger things in my office~ But it is safe to say, I will for sure be sick during the next fire drill....sick and shopping.

On another note, I went to this barbecue over the weekend. Barbecues are always fun. But the highlight for this particular barbecue that made it different, was this goat... this black perky little goat. She (apparently pregnant) walked into our resting pagoda, and crapped all over the floor while chewing on grass at the same time. I was very jealous of her efficiency.

Here is a rendition of the events drawn by the daughter of a friend:

Meet His Sexiness a.k.a. Mr. PPPP

I caved and bought an iPod Touch. I never intended to buy an iPhone cuz I prefer Nokia phones, been using Nokia since my first cellular phone. But when Apple introduced iPhone with the sleek design and interface... I admit I felt something moved...

So I got an iPod Touch, which from this day forth will be addressed to as, His Sexiness.

His Sexiness came in this cute little box which I unwrapped it like a whore in a bath house. Inside sat His Sexiness with his sexy black metallic body smiling at me with a come hither sexiness. Immediate I ran my finger over His Sexiness, feeling the satisfaction like a virgin slut's getting it for the first time. Then His Sexiness lit on brightly, which made me uber warm and fuzzy inside.

Playing music while surfing online was great, wheeeeee. I probably whooshed through all the album graphics like a tard. I tried every single function His Sexiness has to offer, and oooo-ed and ahhh-ed like a boy's first porn.

Speaking of porn, I love the movie playing functions, hence the second name for His Sexiness. Mr. PPPP.

Personal Portable Pornography Player.

I just crapped my pants pondering the possibilities.

I Have Man-Periods

Every once in a while, my body goes in to a weird mode of operation. I have sores and aches, my arms and legs can fall asleep way faster than usual. Usually I get a day like this once a month, probably caused by a very poor night's sleep.

I call days like these, my man-period.

Worst part of my man-period, would be the headaches and migraines. They suck and they whoop my butt, especially the migraines. I have to take pain killers when I have man-period's slaughtering migraines. Don't get me started with the pain-killer-is-bad-for-you-so-you-shouldn't-even-take-half-of-a-pill-crap. I don't want to get into that right now cuz this is my blog, not my blog of my arguments with my mother, and I'm on my man-period.

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...
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The very worst part of the migraine is it hurts so freakin bad when my head is lower than my heart, also known as bending over.

I have to bend quite often because I drop stuff often. And today during my man-period I dropped my pencil holders with a dozen pen/pencils. I had to kneel on the floor picking the little fudgers up looking like an idiot. A colleague who's a mom, actually walked by and padded me on the head.

Also I realized, it's not fun making doodies. Once you are done, you have to bend over and clean yourself. And again it hurts like shit, after i'm done shitting. It's a really really really awful feeling.

Man-period is a crappy thing to have.

(oh my flight to my vacation is canceled due to typhoon. Not only that, typhoon is here on the weekend, not a workday. Whoever did that can suck it.)

A Little Anecdotee of Me Buying Porn for Old Japanese Dudes

Last few weeks were pretty much uneventful. There weren't anything that's REALLY worth blogging for, so here is a post from my old blog that I still think it's funny. This was last year when I had to live in Tokyo for a month for work.

Right before I leave for Japan, my manager received a call from a Japanese colleague...after the call, he came to me~

Mr. Manager: Randy...before you go to Japan, you should buy some um.. souvenirs...

Randy: Sure I'll go pick something out~

Mr. Manager: Randy...you should buy DVDs

Randy: Sure, um...what kinda DVDs (stupid me I should have figure it out and NOT asked)

Mr. Manager(all awkward with a very forced smile): Um...sex DVD....

Randy(trying hard not to burst out into laughter): Oh, OH.... okay, sure.....

So, I bought a bunch of DVDs and left for Japan, while I was there

Randy: So, Mr. K(my Japanese colleague), these DVDs that you said I should give to the QA team... what should I tell them when I give it to them?

Mr. K: DVDs? What DVDs?????

Randy: Errr...the ones you requested us to buy...you know...HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDS STARRING QUESTIONABLE FEMALES IN SAILOR SUITS!!!!

Mr. K: O_O ............... (laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes with his head on his desk) I WAS JOKING...

Randy: WTF!!? DOUBLE YOU TEE EF!!!

Mr. K: It's okay it's okay, our QA ppl would still love it...

Randy: Oh err...okay, so...you better tell them CLEARLY before I give it to them...just so you know...that they won't open it in front of everyone

Mr. K: Okay okay okay (still laughing)

It's time to hand over the HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDS!!!

Mr. K: [Japanese Japanese Japanese blah blah blah to QA dude]

QA Dude: oh... okay (he is giving his 'no big deal' expression with his chin held high, but yeah...he's a 40 year old engineer,single. What more can I say?)

Randy: Um..here you go...enjoy............(why da FUCK did I just say enjoy?)

QA Dude: Thank you. (same expression as before and walked away...although Mr. K and I both know he's doing a happy dance inside)

And that's that. I dunno, I would find it a bit offensive if I received HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDs as a gift from my collegues as an expression of goodwill.......but I guess things work differently in Japan~

Oh yeah, last week (two weeks after I returned from Japan)

Mr. K called: (blah blah blah <-- work related conversation). Oh yeah Randy san, QA dude complained......(burst out into laughter)...y..y..y...your...DVD(hahaahah)....they...they...they..complained(hahaha) ...it's....too...too..old........... (hahahaha)

Randy: OH MAN SHUT UP!!!!!!! (I'm tight with Mr. K so he wont' mind my language)

Sheesh, honestly, I BOUGHT YOU HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDs, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT................BITE ME!