9.15.2007

A Day In My Life


Originally wretch blog posted on: September 12, 2007

"Hey how was your day?"

Usually this is a very common greeting, but for some reason I got at least ten of them yesterday. So, I decided to just write about my day...IN D-E-T-A-I-L.

My alarm clock is set at 7:30am, with a snooze button. The snooze would go off every nine minutes, and my habit is to get out of the bed after two snoozes...witch would be 18 minutes after 7:30am. But my clock is also 22 minutes faster (I was going for 20 but wutever), cuz it gives me a weird sense of security. So, when I woke up this morning the time should be... yeah too early for this.

Then I turned on my computer and check my mail, which usually means spams...cuz who would mail me between 1am to 7:30am? Next thing is showering and brushing my teeth. I have to wash my hair in the morning, it helps me to wake up. Also, for some reason my hair is greasier in the morning after a night of sleep, then after a day's work outside (I wash my hair again before I sleep). Someone explain this? Oh I gotta talk about shaving. The Northern Chinese heritage in me dictates that I am hairy. This means it sucks that I have to put an effort in shaving using the electric razor. Also I just can't manage to cleanly shave my mustache area...I get two little corners of buzz that I just cant get rid of...and this makes me look like a dude that hangs out with Confucius... I don't wanna use the manual hand razor...cuz I suck at it, and I would cut myself, and my face would bleed, and it would hurt, and I would be miserable.

After I dressed myself like a joe schemoe salaryman, I hopped onto my bro's scooter and he'd take us to the MRT station. I have to say, the females trying to get to work, they are VICIOUS. They see a slight opening in an already crowded car, they'll move in for the kill...like VULTURES. So I usually would hug myself so my hands are nowhere near their butt cuz I dont wanna touch'em. But unfortunately my iPod was playing this song I didn't wanna listen to at the moment, so I reached into my pocket so I could change the song...a I grazed an middle aged ladies' butt. I was mortified...one cuz my hands were ewwwww and two...I didnt wanna be in tomorrow's newpaper.

Luckily I arrived at work without any other incident. For breakfast I had coffee (a must), and this pastry bun with hotdog wiener in it.

In my company we have to arrive at 9:00am and swipe the card to tell the HR you are here on time (lame). However, the HR lady was nice and set the cutoff time 3 minutes later, and set the swipe machine's time to 2 minutes later than the rest of the world. This mean...yeah...still too early.

It took around 30 minutes to eat my stuff. Today was a slow day, no meetings, no deadlines, no customer visits, no customer problems, no visitors from HQ, just a carefree day. But of course I was asked to do this research on our competitors...it's my job, but today I didn't feel like doing much so I asked my colleague to help. He refused cuz he had his own stuff to do. So I began chucking sesames from the bun at him in retaliation. Apparently the sesames weren't effective cuz the trajectory ended up hitting some other dude... and this dude is a highly ranked engineer from Tokyo HQ.................................. so I promptly excused myself and brought my laptop to an unused meeting room.

While doing the report, I was also MSNing. This brought back memories of University... I was considered the slack off master. In fact, I taught all of my friends from the Taiwanese FOB SQUAD the term 'slacking off'. So I was doing the report, and planning my trip to Borocay with my cousin over MSN. Fun time~

Soon it's lunch time and I asked my colleague (the failed sesame target) to have lunch together. The whole time I thought he was busy, but he was actually also planning his trip to LA with his girlfriend. That's my teammate!

Lunch is usually my favorite time at work, cuz a bunch of us would go out and chat our ass off. Today was no different but I really don't remember what we talked about. My short term memory sucks.

In the afternoon, this newbie engineer from our agent company came and I had to provide technical training for him. Which actually I didnt mind. The newbie engineer is fun to talk to and like me he likes to diss and cuss at our customer behind their backs. Well I also do it in front of them... I'm known to my customer as the only guy in Taiwan's semiconductor industry that actually had the guts to yell at his customer. In some weird way they get a kick out of this and we just laugh it off. The training was uneventful, because he's a newbie and what I had to taught him I knew very well. After some slacking off it's already 5:30 and I could go home.

On the way back I also took the MRT, and again I had to endure the female amazonian savages AKA Taipei OLs. Besides iPod, I also play NDS to pass the time. I like to yell out 'shit' 'dammit' 'crap' when the game isn't going my way. I try to do it as quiet as possible...but I had my headphones on blasting Sexy Back to my ears. I hope people didn't hear me because I sucked today playing my NDS. Oh also, dont try to pass gas quietly when you have headphones on. It's too difficult to do.

So I got home, got my stinkin bills... and ate my dinner. Since I had a lot of time today, I decided to hit the gym. I love swimming, swimming helps me relax and keeps my thoughts centered. But I can't do it more than 30 to 40 minutes. Not because I lack the energy, but I get bored very easily. So I had to move onto something else. I went to the water spa and for the first time I tried this water stream massage pain of terror from hell... holy crap it hurts. After that I went and lift some weights. Last time the trainer at the gym did this test on me, and said I am 5.5 kg underweight. From this 5.5kg, I need 5 kg of muscle ad 0.5kg of fat. I need fat. Yeah. I have A minus cup man breasts and babyfat out of my ass, and he's telling me I need more fat.

However, lifting weights and cuss at the same time does have it's advantages. 'Suck it you fat dumb manager' while I pump. However, I went to this seminar thingy and the speaker said people can exert or resist more force if they think happy thoughts. "omg i love you mr. manager, your fat is cute and you are ever so smart!!" ... I was saying to myself...but then I felt like throwing up. Lastly was the steam room. I work out at BeingSports, which is a gym with a more senior audience. That means whatever was inside the steam room would be damaging to my eyes. But since I paid monthly fees, I took my chances. It actually felt very good when my eyes were closed.

I lugged my aching tired body back home, took a shower, and watched TV. Tonight was pretty mellow so I'm just chillaxing at home. Chatted with friends, talked about Britney at VMA (ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha OMFGROFLMAO). I love nights like these...but tomorrow, I got a visitor from the HQ, and it'll be stuffing myself with food and beer until 10pm tomorrow night.....sigh A minus cup.....*shakes head*

and that's my day!

So I Am In This Meeting...


Original Wretch blog posted on: September 5, 2007

I am doing live blogging here in an important meeting to give you an insight (from my point of view) of Taiwanese-Japanese corporate environment.


"Hey Randy shouldn't you be concentrating" You ask. That's a very good question and I wish I know how to reply to make myself look responsible. But I don't...and why are you being an ass asking me this question?


Anyways here we go.

- I still have a hard time understanding their Chingrish...

- Top management only cares about numbers, we are just drones.

- Funky keywords are very popular such as "bloody market", "chicken and egg", "trigger business", "tricky customer", "FIERCE" (too bad not how Tyra Banks would say it)

- When your boss talks, you shut up and nod.

- I have a hardened booger deeply up my nose.

- We all have laptops and most of the time we are all concentrating on our laptop screen to pretend we are too busy to listen. But I'm sure people are chatting on MSN about who's responsible for the explosive diarrhea in the men's room this morning.

- Whao! The meeting just turned interesting, this top dude admit he made a mistake in determining our revenue budget. That's RARE!

- There are always a crap load of action items assigned to everyone. At least this means the meeting is almost over.

- Im hungry...I think I'll go have some Cantonese dim sum for dinner.

- I was just highlighted because the numbers my agents inputed looked wrong, even though I explicitly told my agents to modify them two weeks ago. Time to send hate mails.

- A top top guy just came in to do a wrap up comment, note that he was only in the meeting in the last 5%.

- But he's a funny old dude so I like him.

- Done sending hate mails.

- Top guys are gone, now the dudes like us start to discuss how to satisfy their requests.

- Now my direct manager is making his speech, this will last a while.

- Alrite his story time is over, time to pack up.

That's all folks.


Dim Sum Time.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same


So I came crawling back to blogger..

Cuz I'm too lazy to try and make the wretch.cc blog look nice. Gonna start fresh here. Yeah.