6.17.2008

TOEIC Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding

My company made everyone take the TOEIC exam. Some old Japanese dude decided it's a good idea since he scored decent, and even proposed that whoever gets over a score of 605 out of 990 will get a $6000 NT bonus.

The is an example of what TOEIC tests you.

Q: Please look at the above photo and choose one of the following that best describes the picture
A: Britney is drugged up.
B: A hippo is celebrating its birthday.
C: Martians have invaded Earth.

....
....
....

You get the idea.

Anyways, when I received the memo, I immediately rejoiced because WOOHOO FREE CASH! I turned to my boss and said to him, how about just give me the cash right now, it'll save the company my registration fee. My boss laughed, then ignored me. Pfft~

Free cash aside, I was a bit annoyed with the new policy...strictly because of the taking the exam part. I friggin hate written exams. You can tell from one of my previous posts that I was traumatized for life by all the vile, soul torching finals. But hey, when was the last time that I can walk into an exam without having to study, and for sure ace a written exam that consists of 200 multiple choices...MULTIPLE CHOICES! I used to hate these, they were frequently multiple guesses for me. Always pick C!

So, exam time. The first part was the listening test. First few portions were hella easy. But the last portion, which the recording plays a passage and afterward you have to answer questions that described the passage. That gave me some troubles. The first several questions of the last portion were easy, but after 20 passages of boring non consequential blabbering, I lost my focus and concentration. I think the last passage was this dude making an announcement of some construction plans in an atrium of a shopping mall or something... As the recording played, my brains started talking "Why is the dude talking so much?? What's he yammering on about??? This dude is like, the dude that wouldn't shut up!!!! Wow finally, peace and quiet..."

Recording: Now please read the first question and choose the best answer.
Me: ........Huh!!? No No NO NO NO! Replay replay replay no fair!

Then the next four questions were...sigh....multiple guesses............sigh....C...

Second part of the exam was reading comprehension, where we have to read stuff and answer stuff. They were all very elementary, and I finished the exam with a lot of time to spare. I had time to check my work twice! When was the last time that I even finished a exam let alone having the time to check over my work!?

The scores were released a few days ago, and BOOM 970.

Muahahahah 970/990, I rocked. I rocked an easy English exam that grade schoolers could score the same. But no matter, I rocked. No surprise though, about 80% of my coworkers received over 605. Interestingly, more high ranking employees flunked!

My manager flunked. No surprise though, his English sucked~ He's the kind of person that likes to... analyze English with me when we were on trains or cars on our way to customer visits. I do not enjoy when he tries to have a discussion with me about the English grammar, because one, I have very poor grammar (as you can tell from reading the blog), and two, who the hell cares what the hell a 'gerund' is.

Also, every time my manager opens his mouth to speak English, I just want to rip out my ear drums. He tries to speak very quick all the time but cannot enunciate any syllables at all. For example, the phrase 'this project is a volume zone project', out of my manger's mouth would become something like 'lis projec is aroum rum projec exaaaartly yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah', VERBATIM. It's THIS bad.

Back to my awesome 970. The report card has a breakdown of how you did in the listening and reading portions. I receiver 495 for listening, and 475 for reading. WTF!? I freakin multiple guessed a few questions and I recieved 495/495 on the listening, and I checked over my work twice for the reading portion but I lost twenty points on that instead!

The world is always screwed up like that.

Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding Ding $6000NT.