Most F-ed Up Dream Ever

Last night I had the worst dream ever. I don't know if I should call it a nightmare but it was just overall a very bizarre and gross dream. I was grossed out when I woke up and wanted to stay in a fetal position crying, but I was too afraid that I would fall asleep again and the nastiness would recur.

To start off, my dream of course began with me trying to study for all of my final exams from the first chapter to the last in one day. Except this time they were for high school and the subjects were music and mathematics. I was alarmed when I woke up because high school was easy for me. I played played played and could still get a high enough of an average to warrant full scholarship in my first year at the university, which of course the university promptly suspended in my second year.

Next, my dad came into the room and told me I stink and forced me to take a shower. The next part of the dream was me trying to pick out clothes but being indecisive because apparently I was to attend a friend's bday party. I think I did that for a good 30 minutes. Don't ask me why.

So I was enjoying myself at the party and forgetting all about the exams, until my current coworker who was on the other side of the planet when I was in high school, came up to me telling me it's exam time. Oh snap! I remember walking towards a bus stop and tried to figure out which stop I should get off of to get myself to school. I guess in my dream I never attended classes. I think I did that for another 30 minutes until my coworker decided to drive me there meanwhile going over with me the meeting agenda for next week's marketing-promotional meeting at work. Makes no sense whatsoever.

When I got to school, the nasty-ness started. I was at school. My teacher who I think is one of the characters on LOST, showed the class a TV program. I will just simply tell you what the program is about in one sentence.

"Japanese girls laying fish eggs on TV and put them into a jar to compare the sizes and later give them to the audience members as souvenirs".

I think I just violated some criminal laws by just typing that sentence out. It was really really really nasty, and even my dream-self was extremely grossed out. I remember they all lined up holding out their jar, and the contents look like salmon roes but much bigger with various colours...and odours!

I want to puke as I'm typing this out right now.

Then the grossest thing ever happened. This one girl went behind one of those hospital screens with an empty jar and started laying eggs LIVE! I heard this...long diarrhea sound and the audiences were screaming "SUGOIIIIIII" with admiration and she came out with one huge jar of salmon roes. HUUUUUGE ones! I wanted to throw up all over the place and then I woke up almost peed my pants from the horror.

The only explanation I have is I'm too stressed out and emotionally I am not in a good state for the past week. In all seriousness, one day after I got back from Japan's business trip two weeks ago, I had a very disappointing turn of event in my life. I do not want to get into the details but... when you are ready to put on a great effort to fix something that went wrong; when you think if you can work out the problems with maturity and expect the result would come with happiness and satisfaction so you are all hopeful and determined... then you are quickly and coldly shot down, it really puts you into a lonely state of isolation and depression with some mind fuck.

Also I think the fact that I was laughing at this company named OVUM TECHNOLOGY yesterday had something to do with the dream.

Life goes on, with the best you'll never had.

Haha someone works for OVUM hahaahha.

28!

Alrite I realize this blog is a massive fail because I don't update at all. But seriously, twenty-seven kinda sucked. So now, I turned twenty-eight a few weeks ago and since then I've passed out twice from drinking. Way to start my second last year with a 2 in front!

So for my birthday I had the usual dinner with friends and party with binge drinking. My friends were out to get me that night, and by 1AM I already felt hammered. I drank way too fast and the memories for the next two hours were whirlwinds in a beat up washing machine.

Things I can remember:

1) My shirt's buttons were ripped by NiNi (friend & male hetero sister), and I was semi-topless at a high end club.
2) Taking ugly pix with my friends and getting lap dances from each.
3) Calling a friend that couldn't come and bitched while squatting outside the club like I was taking a dump.

Things I cannot remember but there are photographic evidences:

1) I smoked. (I can't smoke. I have supreme sensitive gag reflexes. Last time I smoked I ended up in a hospital a day later with acute bronchitis from choking.)
2) I was licking a co-worker's leg.
3) I took off my shoes and fed it to NiNi.

A week later, I was shipped off to Tokyo for a business trip. The trip was pretty uneventful, and I walked from Tokyo train station to Tokyo tower because I'm obsessed with Namie Amuro's song "Baby Don't Cry" (check Youtube). I wanted to walk around Tokyo just like she did workin it. Once I reached Tokyo Tower, I was massively disappointed. There are no open area that you can see the tower from afar, and I did not feel like going up there alone.

So when I proceeded walking back to the hotel (it was at least a 1hr walk one way), I noticed this dude drinking beer on the street. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN DO THAT! I'm pretty sure in Toronto it's illegal to drink booze on the street openly. So, to get into the Tokyo culture, I went to a 7-11 and bought me some beer. I had an empty stomach, and the walk back was totally enjoyable.

Drinking on an empty stomach, that's how I roll.

Towards the end of my walk I tried to find a cheap restaurant, which I did. It was one of those ticket vending machine ramen ricebowl place, and as always the food was awesome. It took me 5 minutes to decide what I wanted, and I stood in front of the machine like an idiot until this waitress came and provided assistance. I think she had the hots for me.

Finally, last week another friend's bday and we booked a love motel with a private small pool. Theme of the night was still binge drinking.

Pix Here:


People passed out on top of wet sheets, puking, etc. etc. etc. In the end there were still four left standing with two unopened bottles of wine. The final four played rock/paper/scissors, loser drinks and swims. Next day all four of us found scrapes on our leg/arm with no regrets.

After three weeks of half assed exercising, I wanted to get back into shape so I went back to my routine that includes "interval cardio training", which is you semi sprint for 90 seconds, walk for 60, semi sprint a bit faster for 90, walk for 60, then repeat the whole cycle 4 times. It ended up like this:

Sprint-Sprint-Sprint-Walk-Walk-Walk-Sprint-Sprint-Sprint-Jog-Jog-Jog-DRY HEAVE!!!!!

Stray dogs were looking at me thinking "wtf is wrong with you dude!" So after that, I decided it's time to quit drinking.

For at least two weeks.

Relax, Eat An Apple

And take a deep breath.

2009 - What Happened So Far

I caved due to peer pressure and death threats, so I figure I shall write something at the start of 2009.

No New Year's resolution for me.

From past experiences, New Year's resolution never worked. Jog everyday? Fail. Study harder at school? Fail. Eat healthy? Fail.

So what's going on with me thus far in 2009? A flu. I woke feeling coughy groggy and achy, and dragged myself to work. First day back to work and I'm sick. I felt it during the weekend but tried to control it with my strong mental prowess, but I guess it didn't exist.

My Mom's back from Toronto, so I had to spend most of my free time with her since I only get to see her about three weeks every 6 months. I didn't show a single sign of illness in front of her, because it would be disobedient. That's right, we Chinese are messed up. Those who cling to traditions, e.g. my Mother, believe that they created their off springs therefore their offspring's body is of their own. Therefore if I don't take good care of myself and get myself sick, to them it's the same thing as making them sick because they own my body. Now what kind of a son am I for infecting on my parents with virus and making them ill?

To top it all off, my mom is also sick. She's sick in the body that my grandparents gave her.

Oh, and my first dream of 2009, was very fucked up. I am a very poor sleeper, I dream all the time and remember them vividly. Usually I dream about mundane stuff like flipping a textbook or going to the mall. But my first dream of 2009, was nothing but.

I dreamed about Full House. That's right, I may have a questionable wet dream about Aunt Becky. Note, the following will make absolutely no sense to you if you never watched Full House.

The dream took place in the living room of the Tanners. Danny was speaking, and I was sitting beside little DJ, little Stephanie, and little Michelle, although I have no idea what my relationship with the Tanners was.

The conversation was about Tanner's deceased mother/wife. I do not remember what the exact sentences were but I remember it was very touching. Little DJ was crying, little Stephanie was crying, Little Michelle was crying, and Little Randy was bawling. Then all of a sudden, Tanner wife/mom appeared, who looked EXACTLY like Aunt Becky. Except...Aunt Becky was decked out in full dominatrix gear! Full leather and a whip!

WHOOPAH! Aunt Becky whipped, it was very messed up. I was whipped, and I woke up very confused. Upon reflection, I think the dream was trying to tell me that I miss 90210 too much, as Aunt Becky is also in 90210.

Happy New Year!