12.07.2007

I ATE TOKYO

I HATE BIZ TRIPS

I was on a business trip for the past few days at company HQ in Tokyo, and as usual it sucked. They packed our schedule with meetings after meetings, and after that, a long ass dinner until we are all tired and depressed. AND after that we have to finally check our emails for the day and work in the hotel room if anything important happened during the day.

I AM STILL FLOORED BY THE WEIRDOS

I did take an earlier flight on Sunday so I can at least do something in Tokyo. This time I was with two other colleagues, and together we decided to visit Akihabara, the electronic district of Tokyo.I've been to Akihabara several times, and every time I go I can't believe the weirdos I see on the street. Here are some examples:

- A couple (I think), walking on the street hand to hand, BOTH wearing SAILOR SUITS with skirts, like SAILOR MOON!
- A fat unattractive man, wearing SAILOR SUITS, like SAILOR MOON!
- Girls wearing French maid outfits, posing on the sidewalks for questionable looking men with expensive cameras. No she's not affiliated with anything commercial, this is her weekend hobby.
- Girls wearing anime looking outfits, singing with a mic and a boombox on the sidewalks. Questionable looking men with expensive camera gathered around and clapped along with the song. No she's not affiliated with anything commercial, this is her weekend hobby.

I WANT WHATEVER TOILETS THEY HAVE

Those ass spraying toilets (AST for short, if I may) are common in Japan, heck their oversea sales office such as where Im working from are all fully equipped with ASTs. When I was in Tokyo this time, I discovered that the ASTs have received an awesome upgrade: ass blow dry! I promptly tried the ABD enabled AST, and it's a sensation I have never experienced. Now if my office receive the ABD upgrade, I'd be in there all the time!

I ATE TOKYO

I ate so freakin much this time in Tokyo. I arrived at Tokyo on Sunday afternoon, between then and Sunday bedtime I had:
- Starbucks Venti White Chocolate Mocha (cuz they don't have it here in Taiwan)
- One bowl of rice with minced meat and seaweed, with hot spring boiled egg
- One bowl of pork bone soup ramen
- One plate of fried dumplings
- One strawberry cheesecake crepe (holy crap it was so good)
- One large can of Suntory Premium brewed beer (it was awesome)
- One bottle of Aquarius sports drink (cuz I dont want to have plain water)
- One cup of pudding (4/10, wasn't that good)
- One box of Men's Tiramisu (Because Japanese men have bitter saggy lives)
Eating so much wasn't a good idea at all though, as I usually constipate when I travel. Which also wasn't ideal since I'm in the land of ABD enabled AST. As the experience of my constipation will definitely be classified as 'too much info', I will spare you the details. But I chowed down everything while constipated, and it was indeed a very sad scene. I ate more the next several days and soon I'll have to face my gym membership trying to work off the fat. Which I anticipate will again, be a very sad scene.

I CAN'T PRONOUNCE ALUMINUM NOW

My English died a fair bit when I was in Tokyo, after all the meetings in English spoken by Japanese-Taiwanese-Chinese torture. Here is an example:

Japanese Engineer a.k.a Egghead, who could speak good English cuz he spent time in the UK: We use FPGAs for the TX board.
Chinese Engineer: aoiw iwnwor sinwns kndiwtga sdogje, soiethi baiwex orghas?
Me: huh what?
Egghead: that is right
Me: O_O
Another colleague: ZzzzzZZzZZzzz
Some other dude: *playing pinball and solitaire

Luckily, a colleague from the UK was also with us for the meetings. I had the chance to casually chat with him over dinner, making fun of each other with UK/Canadian stereotypes and whatnot. We also talked about the language differences, and this came up:

UK Guy: So, how do you pronounce the metal that holds your soda.
Me: A-LU-MI-NUM?
UK Guy: Wrong, it's pronounced A-U-MI-NI-UM.
Me: That's not English, sorry.
UK Guy: No it's true, that's how we pronounce it in the UK.
Me: You totally just made that up.
UK Guy: No mate, I'm serious!
Me: No sorry that's not English. Nuh-uh!

Now, when I think of the word aluminum, my brain can't decide whether I should pronounce it as I always have, or pronounce it the way the Queen would. To save my aluminum pronouncing ability, I can only conclude that over there in England, they are not speaking English.

I WAS PSYCHOLOGICALLY SCARRED

My Japanese contact window speaks English fairly well. Once I asked him where he learned his English, he said promptly: Filipina Bar. I didn't believe him so during one of my trips to Tokyo last year he tricked me into going to the bar with him. It was horrifying and it took me a while to put that behind me. No I was not molested, I came out in one piece, but...*shudder*

This time, he took me to one AGAIN, because our company's legendary designer Mr. Egghead, also went. The UK guy was also invited and he was only recently married. I could tell he was also terrified and gave me a look that could only be taken as a plea for help. Therefore, I sucked it up and decided to keep him company. I am not going to go in details of what happened inside, actually nothing happened to ME. But, I was surrounded by fat old ugly whores wearing slutty cheap perfumes. It was so incredibly nasty, the only thing that kept me sane was thinking about getting strawberry cheesecake crepe when we call it a night. Mr. Egghead acted like a retard and I lost a lot of respect for him, he no longer has 'legendary' status in my mind, instead he'll be 'rotten egghead'. *shudder*

*Disclaimer: I am not a racist person, I have nothing against Filipina. I do have something against old fat ugly whores wearing slutty cheap perfumes trying to rub my thighs and telling me they have sons around my age. *shudder*

******************************************

This has got to be the worst biz trip ever. EVAR!

11.21.2007

Obligatory Post-Vacation Post

Im back from my vacation at Boracay for almost a week now, and some of you have asked why have I not write about the vacation on my blog. The reason I haven't write about the vacation was because I'm a lazy person, and I don't like vacation blogs. They are usually boring to read because it's so detailed down to each meal, and they made me very jealous.

Another reason is I don't really know what to write about this vacation. It was a very good vacation, and I did pretty much next to nothing. My cousin and I just rot ourselves on the beach for the entire trip, and drank ourselves silly. That's my kind of vacation, just relax and enjoy myself on the beach after months of tense working like a bitch (*rimshot*).

Good times!

11.09.2007

Super Human Experience

My company has this annual exhibition thingy called the Renesas Forum, where we invite "people of the industry" (a.k.a. competitors not allowed) to share our latest developments (a.k.a hardcore marketing and shameless self plugs). This year the venue was at Sheraton Hotel Taipei, and I was asked to be a speaker for my product line, which at first I didn't think much of it cuz I have to do regular promotions to my customers as my daily job description. However, few days prior to the Forum, I realized this was not going to be a walk in the park.

In a meeting, the MARCOM team announced there are about 400 guests for the Mobile presentation, and within that around 200 were here to listen to LCD Driver IC (my topic). A collective o_O!? was raised by the LCD Driver team because we were anticipating around....like...20 to show up. But the MARCOM team insisted the numbers were right, so I thought I better do a damn good job O_O.

I had already prepared my presentation power point, which was easy cuz I do this all the time. HOWEVER, I tried to do a run through, and that's when I realized this is gonna suck. I have to explain somethings first. Although I can speak Mandarin fluently, my though process is usually in English. When I talk to myself, it's in English, such as "I gotta go poo" or "Oh maaaaaaan it's Monday". So usually I have to translate my thoughts from English to Mandarin on the fly when I'm taking to someone. It's not that bad when I'm in a conversation which I can manage pretty well. However in this presentation which is like me talking to myself out loud for 30 minutes, and my run through sucked so much I was mortified.

Now, I do many presentations like this to my customers. In a more cozy setting, I would do the presentation in a 'conversation' style when (not if) I couldn't think of what to say in Chinese. I would say "so what do you think?" to kill the dead air and pass the responsibility to the other side. Well I can't do this in a key note style presentation can I? And usually in a more formal presentation, I can get away in throwing in English 50-50. But for the Forum they wanted to have Chinese speaking presenters to present in Chinese to the public...which was going to be trouble.

The day before the presentation I still couldn't went through my materials half fluently, so as a last resort I typed out everything I wanted to say in Chinese. I planned to read it a gazillion times before the presentation... I even wrote out "Thank you for attending the Forum, My name is Randy blah blah blah" verbatim, I was this desperate. So few hours before the presentation I hid myself inside the Green Room to prepare, and guess what, other presenters were there also cramming.

Then one of the VP came saw us and started talking to himself, "So you guys are presenting! Don't worry you all will do a good job!! Oh and then head hunters will come and take you away from the company....bitches (真賤!)....well I'd present too if I had the chance.....bitches(真賤!)" and walked out of the room.

Anyways, few minutes before the presentation I still couldn't remember half of the stuff, cuz I have a crappy short term memory. There were about 150 people, and I wasn't really nervous but more worried with my Chinese speaking abilities. However I still have my crib notes and was very intended on reading it.

Then it's my term, and shit happened.

I put the script on the podium, and it kept sliding off cuz the surface was tilted at an angle and probably waxed just to spite me. I also had to hold the mic in one hand, and the laser pointer to the other. Which means I need a third hand to hold the stupid script. I was fed up, and slammed my two pieces of paper on the floor beside me and started talking whatever.

That was when, Ladies and Gentlemen, I demonstrated the unlimited potentials of the Human species. I knew exactly what to say for each presentation slide, and even cracked lame jokes (to the sound of crickets)! I flied through the 45 minutes with only minor stoppage (went over 15 minutes), and I was actually enjoying myself. I was rather amused too, at some people who yawned so blatantly when sitting in the first row... Bitches!

Well, everything wasn't that smooth...at one point my laser pointer was blocked by the mic stand, so I tried to adjust my position on the podium to avoid the blockage....and I fell off of the podium....................while speaking................. luckily afterward I asked my colleagues and they said they didn't notice the boo boo.

I was also complimented by them telling me that the 45 minutes were probably the best Mandarin they have ever heard me speak! There were also people from the audience came up to me afterward to congratulate me and shook my hand. Wow I was good enough for handshakes! So overall, the Forum was a success, Taipei venue had even more people showed up (611) than the Tokyo venue (less than 611). It was also a success for me on a personal level. Go me!

I'm ready Head Hunters, take me take me take me!

10.30.2007

I ♥ MM

A traditional legend says that for males if your right eye bag is twitching, it means something that will make you very happy is about to happen. My right eye bag twitched for MONTHS, I went from maybe I'll fall in love to maybe I'll win the lottery to maybe I have a nerve problem with my face... until two days ago when I confirmed my happiness...

I met my idol of 10 years.....MORNING MUSUME!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

They announced that they'll be visiting Taiwan this week to promote their 10 years anniversary best hit album, and will have several events planned for the fans. I'm a official fan club member of Hello Project, the recording label Morning Musume belong to. You have to pay $1300 NT a year, and you can get very minor discounts when you buy their stuff. Just when I thought the membership meant diddly squat, they announced that members can attend a very special mini concert when they are here.

MONEY. WELL. SPENT.

Another event will be a 'handshake' event, but you need to buy two of their albums and get two tickets in order to attend. Over the weekend I went around Taipei's record store, and they were all sold out!! WTF!? Since when did Morning Musume start to sell out in Taiwan!? I was WTFing myself all the way to the event on Monday night, the fan club only mini concert...luckily they have more albums available so I quickly grabbed them like meat.

The venue can host about 350 ppl, but almost 600 signed up. The event was actually very poorly planned... too many people, too disorganized... and delayed for almost an hour!!! But, when they appeared on stage........they were.......................angels......................glowing........and glowing........and glowing................... The crowd went CRAZY, as did I. I was like...4 meters away from them....OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

I OMGed myself home that night, and repeated the following conversation to several friends over MSN:

Me: IM IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE
Friend: REALLY? Who is it, PIX NOW!
Me: MORNING MUSUME~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Friend: (nothing for five minutes) ..... oh god not again...
ME: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THE PASSION!!

And tonight at work, I couldn't do a thing...cuz I know I'll soon be within handshaking distance... I clipped my nails, and my colleague offered hand lotion... and as soon as the clock hit 5:30pm, I was out of the office!

Before it was my turn I kept on thinking...what should I say to them, KAWAIIIII? DAISUKI?????????????? OMG OMG OMG

But, when I finally stepped on stage...I blanked. They were angels standing there...glowing...glowing...glowing... I couldn't let out even a sound, and all the Musume gave me full eye contact with the sweetest smile... and they were pros at this. Their smiles didn't look fake like those you'd find with flight attendants... they all look genuine (yeah yeah I know they faked it), but, when they see you they gave this "Oh hey it's YOU, long time no see!!!!" look.

It was...surreal.... O_O The whole thing lasted like...ten seconds, and it didn't feel real. My cousin who went with me said everyone STOMPED onto the stage, but were all floating when they exited... as did I. Later we went to get some hot pot, and I couldn't help myself and drifted off into those ten seconds with my mouth open.... I couldn't pull myself together until my cousin threatened to splash hot soup on my face.

One day I will make the ultimate pilgrimage to Japan and attend their concert....

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM I ♥ MM

By the way those of you who are laughing at me, YOU HAVE NO PASSION IN LIFE! I PITY YOU... PITY

10.21.2007

My Company Is Retarded

Last week everyone in the office received a hardhat. Then, an email from General Affairs officially explained the hardhat. The purpose of the hardhat is to protect our little heads during earthquakes, and/or fires. And it will also be used during our fire drills. If we decide to leave the company, the hardhat must be returns to General Affairs department.

Unofficially, the hardhat can also be used as a flame shield during our monthly Summary Meetings, Agent In Progress & Sales Meetings, or whenever we have to go to the customers... or whenever we have to fend for our lives from the wrath of our customers .

When my company's VP saw the hardhat, he asked "What's this for." "Earthquakes and fire drills, apparently.", I replied.

"Hahaha, seriously, what is this for?", Mr. VP promptly said.
".......... no seriously, earthquakes and fire drills", I answered.
Then we looked at each other blankly for five seconds... "alright...", Mr. VP walked back to his seat.

I guess we've seen stranger things in my office~ But it is safe to say, I will for sure be sick during the next fire drill....sick and shopping.

On another note, I went to this barbecue over the weekend. Barbecues are always fun. But the highlight for this particular barbecue that made it different, was this goat... this black perky little goat. She (apparently pregnant) walked into our resting pagoda, and crapped all over the floor while chewing on grass at the same time. I was very jealous of her efficiency.

Here is a rendition of the events drawn by the daughter of a friend:

10.16.2007

Meet His Sexiness a.k.a. Mr. PPPP

I caved and bought an iPod Touch. I never intended to buy an iPhone cuz I prefer Nokia phones, been using Nokia since my first cellular phone. But when Apple introduced iPhone with the sleek design and interface... I admit I felt something moved...

So I got an iPod Touch, which from this day forth will be addressed to as, His Sexiness.

His Sexiness came in this cute little box which I unwrapped it like a whore in a bath house. Inside sat His Sexiness with his sexy black metallic body smiling at me with a come hither sexiness. Immediate I ran my finger over His Sexiness, feeling the satisfaction like a virgin slut's getting it for the first time. Then His Sexiness lit on brightly, which made me uber warm and fuzzy inside.

Playing music while surfing online was great, wheeeeee. I probably whooshed through all the album graphics like a tard. I tried every single function His Sexiness has to offer, and oooo-ed and ahhh-ed like a boy's first porn.

Speaking of porn, I love the movie playing functions, hence the second name for His Sexiness. Mr. PPPP.

Personal Portable Pornography Player.

I just crapped my pants pondering the possibilities.

10.05.2007

I Have Man-Periods


Every once in a while, my body goes in to a weird mode of operation. I have sores and aches, my arms and legs can fall asleep way faster than usual. Usually I get a day like this once a month, probably caused by a very poor night's sleep.

I call days like these, my man-period.

Worst part of my man-period, would be the headaches and migraines. They suck and they whoop my butt, especially the migraines. I have to take pain killers when I have man-period's slaughtering migraines. Don't get me started with the pain-killer-is-bad-for-you-so-you-shouldn't-even-take-half-of-a-pill-crap. I don't want to get into that right now cuz this is my blog, not my blog of my arguments with my mother, and I'm on my man-period.

...
...
...

The very worst part of the migraine is it hurts so freakin bad when my head is lower than my heart, also known as bending over.

I have to bend quite often because I drop stuff often. And today during my man-period I dropped my pencil holders with a dozen pen/pencils. I had to kneel on the floor picking the little fudgers up looking like an idiot. A colleague who's a mom, actually walked by and padded me on the head.

Also I realized, it's not fun making doodies. Once you are done, you have to bend over and clean yourself. And again it hurts like shit, after i'm done shitting. It's a really really really awful feeling.

Man-period is a crappy thing to have.

(oh my flight to my vacation is canceled due to typhoon. Not only that, typhoon is here on the weekend, not a workday. Whoever did that can suck it.)

10.01.2007

A Little Anecdotee of Me Buying Porn for Old Japanese Dudes


Last few weeks were pretty much uneventful. There weren't anything that's REALLY worth blogging for, so here is a post from my old blog that I still think it's funny. This was last year when I had to live in Tokyo for a month for work.

Right before I leave for Japan, my manager received a call from a Japanese colleague...after the call, he came to me~

Mr. Manager: Randy...before you go to Japan, you should buy some um.. souvenirs...

Randy: Sure I'll go pick something out~

Mr. Manager: Randy...you should buy DVDs

Randy: Sure, um...what kinda DVDs (stupid me I should have figure it out and NOT asked)

Mr. Manager(all awkward with a very forced smile): Um...sex DVD....

Randy(trying hard not to burst out into laughter): Oh, OH.... okay, sure.....

So, I bought a bunch of DVDs and left for Japan, while I was there

Randy: So, Mr. K(my Japanese colleague), these DVDs that you said I should give to the QA team... what should I tell them when I give it to them?

Mr. K: DVDs? What DVDs?????

Randy: Errr...the ones you requested us to buy...you know...HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDS STARRING QUESTIONABLE FEMALES IN SAILOR SUITS!!!!

Mr. K: O_O ............... (laughing uncontrollably for 5 minutes with his head on his desk) I WAS JOKING...

Randy: WTF!!? DOUBLE YOU TEE EF!!!

Mr. K: It's okay it's okay, our QA ppl would still love it...

Randy: Oh err...okay, so...you better tell them CLEARLY before I give it to them...just so you know...that they won't open it in front of everyone

Mr. K: Okay okay okay (still laughing)

It's time to hand over the HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDS!!!

Mr. K: [Japanese Japanese Japanese blah blah blah to QA dude]

QA Dude: oh... okay (he is giving his 'no big deal' expression with his chin held high, but yeah...he's a 40 year old engineer,single. What more can I say?)

Randy: Um..here you go...enjoy............(why da FUCK did I just say enjoy?)

QA Dude: Thank you. (same expression as before and walked away...although Mr. K and I both know he's doing a happy dance inside)

And that's that. I dunno, I would find it a bit offensive if I received HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDs as a gift from my collegues as an expression of goodwill.......but I guess things work differently in Japan~

Oh yeah, last week (two weeks after I returned from Japan)

Mr. K called: (blah blah blah <-- work related conversation). Oh yeah Randy san, QA dude complained......(burst out into laughter)...y..y..y...your...DVD(hahaahah)....they...they...they..complained(hahaha) ...it's....too...too..old........... (hahahaha)

Randy: OH MAN SHUT UP!!!!!!! (I'm tight with Mr. K so he wont' mind my language)

Sheesh, honestly, I BOUGHT YOU HARDCORE JAPANESE PORNOGRAPHIC DVDs, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT................BITE ME!

9.15.2007

A Day In My Life


Originally wretch blog posted on: September 12, 2007

"Hey how was your day?"

Usually this is a very common greeting, but for some reason I got at least ten of them yesterday. So, I decided to just write about my day...IN D-E-T-A-I-L.

My alarm clock is set at 7:30am, with a snooze button. The snooze would go off every nine minutes, and my habit is to get out of the bed after two snoozes...witch would be 18 minutes after 7:30am. But my clock is also 22 minutes faster (I was going for 20 but wutever), cuz it gives me a weird sense of security. So, when I woke up this morning the time should be... yeah too early for this.

Then I turned on my computer and check my mail, which usually means spams...cuz who would mail me between 1am to 7:30am? Next thing is showering and brushing my teeth. I have to wash my hair in the morning, it helps me to wake up. Also, for some reason my hair is greasier in the morning after a night of sleep, then after a day's work outside (I wash my hair again before I sleep). Someone explain this? Oh I gotta talk about shaving. The Northern Chinese heritage in me dictates that I am hairy. This means it sucks that I have to put an effort in shaving using the electric razor. Also I just can't manage to cleanly shave my mustache area...I get two little corners of buzz that I just cant get rid of...and this makes me look like a dude that hangs out with Confucius... I don't wanna use the manual hand razor...cuz I suck at it, and I would cut myself, and my face would bleed, and it would hurt, and I would be miserable.

After I dressed myself like a joe schemoe salaryman, I hopped onto my bro's scooter and he'd take us to the MRT station. I have to say, the females trying to get to work, they are VICIOUS. They see a slight opening in an already crowded car, they'll move in for the kill...like VULTURES. So I usually would hug myself so my hands are nowhere near their butt cuz I dont wanna touch'em. But unfortunately my iPod was playing this song I didn't wanna listen to at the moment, so I reached into my pocket so I could change the song...a I grazed an middle aged ladies' butt. I was mortified...one cuz my hands were ewwwww and two...I didnt wanna be in tomorrow's newpaper.

Luckily I arrived at work without any other incident. For breakfast I had coffee (a must), and this pastry bun with hotdog wiener in it.

In my company we have to arrive at 9:00am and swipe the card to tell the HR you are here on time (lame). However, the HR lady was nice and set the cutoff time 3 minutes later, and set the swipe machine's time to 2 minutes later than the rest of the world. This mean...yeah...still too early.

It took around 30 minutes to eat my stuff. Today was a slow day, no meetings, no deadlines, no customer visits, no customer problems, no visitors from HQ, just a carefree day. But of course I was asked to do this research on our competitors...it's my job, but today I didn't feel like doing much so I asked my colleague to help. He refused cuz he had his own stuff to do. So I began chucking sesames from the bun at him in retaliation. Apparently the sesames weren't effective cuz the trajectory ended up hitting some other dude... and this dude is a highly ranked engineer from Tokyo HQ.................................. so I promptly excused myself and brought my laptop to an unused meeting room.

While doing the report, I was also MSNing. This brought back memories of University... I was considered the slack off master. In fact, I taught all of my friends from the Taiwanese FOB SQUAD the term 'slacking off'. So I was doing the report, and planning my trip to Borocay with my cousin over MSN. Fun time~

Soon it's lunch time and I asked my colleague (the failed sesame target) to have lunch together. The whole time I thought he was busy, but he was actually also planning his trip to LA with his girlfriend. That's my teammate!

Lunch is usually my favorite time at work, cuz a bunch of us would go out and chat our ass off. Today was no different but I really don't remember what we talked about. My short term memory sucks.

In the afternoon, this newbie engineer from our agent company came and I had to provide technical training for him. Which actually I didnt mind. The newbie engineer is fun to talk to and like me he likes to diss and cuss at our customer behind their backs. Well I also do it in front of them... I'm known to my customer as the only guy in Taiwan's semiconductor industry that actually had the guts to yell at his customer. In some weird way they get a kick out of this and we just laugh it off. The training was uneventful, because he's a newbie and what I had to taught him I knew very well. After some slacking off it's already 5:30 and I could go home.

On the way back I also took the MRT, and again I had to endure the female amazonian savages AKA Taipei OLs. Besides iPod, I also play NDS to pass the time. I like to yell out 'shit' 'dammit' 'crap' when the game isn't going my way. I try to do it as quiet as possible...but I had my headphones on blasting Sexy Back to my ears. I hope people didn't hear me because I sucked today playing my NDS. Oh also, dont try to pass gas quietly when you have headphones on. It's too difficult to do.

So I got home, got my stinkin bills... and ate my dinner. Since I had a lot of time today, I decided to hit the gym. I love swimming, swimming helps me relax and keeps my thoughts centered. But I can't do it more than 30 to 40 minutes. Not because I lack the energy, but I get bored very easily. So I had to move onto something else. I went to the water spa and for the first time I tried this water stream massage pain of terror from hell... holy crap it hurts. After that I went and lift some weights. Last time the trainer at the gym did this test on me, and said I am 5.5 kg underweight. From this 5.5kg, I need 5 kg of muscle ad 0.5kg of fat. I need fat. Yeah. I have A minus cup man breasts and babyfat out of my ass, and he's telling me I need more fat.

However, lifting weights and cuss at the same time does have it's advantages. 'Suck it you fat dumb manager' while I pump. However, I went to this seminar thingy and the speaker said people can exert or resist more force if they think happy thoughts. "omg i love you mr. manager, your fat is cute and you are ever so smart!!" ... I was saying to myself...but then I felt like throwing up. Lastly was the steam room. I work out at BeingSports, which is a gym with a more senior audience. That means whatever was inside the steam room would be damaging to my eyes. But since I paid monthly fees, I took my chances. It actually felt very good when my eyes were closed.

I lugged my aching tired body back home, took a shower, and watched TV. Tonight was pretty mellow so I'm just chillaxing at home. Chatted with friends, talked about Britney at VMA (ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha OMFGROFLMAO). I love nights like these...but tomorrow, I got a visitor from the HQ, and it'll be stuffing myself with food and beer until 10pm tomorrow night.....sigh A minus cup.....*shakes head*

and that's my day!

So I Am In This Meeting...


Original Wretch blog posted on: September 5, 2007

I am doing live blogging here in an important meeting to give you an insight (from my point of view) of Taiwanese-Japanese corporate environment.


"Hey Randy shouldn't you be concentrating" You ask. That's a very good question and I wish I know how to reply to make myself look responsible. But I don't...and why are you being an ass asking me this question?


Anyways here we go.

- I still have a hard time understanding their Chingrish...

- Top management only cares about numbers, we are just drones.

- Funky keywords are very popular such as "bloody market", "chicken and egg", "trigger business", "tricky customer", "FIERCE" (too bad not how Tyra Banks would say it)

- When your boss talks, you shut up and nod.

- I have a hardened booger deeply up my nose.

- We all have laptops and most of the time we are all concentrating on our laptop screen to pretend we are too busy to listen. But I'm sure people are chatting on MSN about who's responsible for the explosive diarrhea in the men's room this morning.

- Whao! The meeting just turned interesting, this top dude admit he made a mistake in determining our revenue budget. That's RARE!

- There are always a crap load of action items assigned to everyone. At least this means the meeting is almost over.

- Im hungry...I think I'll go have some Cantonese dim sum for dinner.

- I was just highlighted because the numbers my agents inputed looked wrong, even though I explicitly told my agents to modify them two weeks ago. Time to send hate mails.

- A top top guy just came in to do a wrap up comment, note that he was only in the meeting in the last 5%.

- But he's a funny old dude so I like him.

- Done sending hate mails.

- Top guys are gone, now the dudes like us start to discuss how to satisfy their requests.

- Now my direct manager is making his speech, this will last a while.

- Alrite his story time is over, time to pack up.

That's all folks.


Dim Sum Time.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same


So I came crawling back to blogger..

Cuz I'm too lazy to try and make the wretch.cc blog look nice. Gonna start fresh here. Yeah.