12.05.2011

What Is He Doing Every Night????




I am back to single and the aftermath is as follows:

Wrists are sore.

Fingers are sticky.

Chronic fatigue.

Lower back is aching.

Sleepy during the day.

Can't wait to get home and open up my TV/monitors and get into my couch groove during the night.

Increase usage of kleenix.

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It's from playing video games, you sicko. Increase usage of kleenix is from allergy.

Skyrim/Assassin's Creed/Zelda Skyward Sword/Mario 3DS/Mario Kart/Saint Seiya overkill just happened and it is still happening.

10.18.2011

I Almost Farted Myself Out of Shanghai

I had a business trip to Shanghai area last week. As always, business trips suck, and this one wasn't any different.

One of my biggest problem of traveling to the Mainland is I do not like their food. China is vast so maybe it was the region that I visited that was the problem. Food over there (in Shanghai-Kunshan-Suzhou) are generally greasy and on the sweet side. Every night after I return to my hotel room after a full dinner, my stomach wants to kill me.

The first night, we met up with our customer and we went to a hot pot place. The soup base used a dark boned chicken (don't know the technical term), and local spices. It was very greasy and salty. Since we didn't sit down until almost 9PM and had no food in between since our lunch airplane food, we were famished! We ordered some extra hot dishes and stir fries, they all turned out extra greasy and spicy.

Our client, a female local, was basically laughing at our wussy stomachs for not being able to handle the food. She watched us in amazement trying to filter out the oil from the pot, and asked the waitress to add boiled water to dilute the very salty soup. According to her, she has never seen anyone do that eating hot pot. In Taiwan, we do it ALL THE TIME. One dish was literally, pork slices in a plate of oil. According to the client, the more oil the better.

I asked her if she'll tell her friends that she just had a strange hot pot experience with weak stomached Taiwanese. She quietly nodded, and said "no wonder Taiwanese people live longer". I do not know if that's true but it makes sense. If I eat like they do for a month, you can probably harvest diamonds from my organs.

One other rant, Shanghai airport sucks. More specifically, the restaurant there sucks. We couldn't get the more convenient flight to the domestic airport HongQiao, so we had to land at Pudong which supposed to be Shanghai's international airport.

My colleagues and I went to this ramen noodle place. It took them 45 minutes and at least 7 tries to get the four bowls of ramen noodles we ordered correctly. We also ordered side dishes which never came. The waitress gave us two plates of tofu which we never ordered. After we told her we ordered something else, she just put those two plates of tofu onto the dividers between tables and left us alone!

After 30 minutes of hurrying telling and asking them for our dishes, the manager came over to see what's going on. When we told her that our side dishes were still missing, without saying a word, she took the two plates of tofu that was sitting on the divider for the past 30 minutes, and put it on our table.

Back in Taiwan we probably can see the news editorials bash our own airport for being shoddy cuz of construction, for poor services, or for unreasonable meal prices. One of the most common rhetoric we hear all the time is that the airport is the front door of a nation, and this is the first & last impression we are leaving our visitors. Judging from my experience from Shanghai, we have nothing to worry about! I like the educated people in China, they are generally very easy going and approachable. Now if only they can improve on the service industries of their urban cities, I actually wouldn't mind working or living there. IF!

9.27.2011

Excuse Me While I'm Jogging


One of my weekly exercise routine is I try to jog at least three times a week for 30~40 minutes each. I find jogging to be the only way I can isolate my thoughts completely to myself because well... hard to think about anything else when I'm gasping for breath. I'd like to jog longer but like all things I usually find them boring after a while and had to stop out of boredom. Although the park I jog in is quite large with a 2km perimeter, I still find it boring after seeing the same thing over and over again.

One thing I find though, is I tend to pass gas A LOT when I'm jogging. On average, I fart about every 15 seconds. And when you are gasping for breath and iPod is pumping music into your ears, discretion is out the windows. I don't even care if there are people around me, I just let it out which ever way my body deems fit.

Yes, this is a fart topic. And don't tell me you don't fart because everyone farts. Farts are also extremely hilarious. We all laugh when we hear farts. We'd cover our noses, but under our palms we are gigging because someone just farted.

I really don't know why I fart like this. My current theory is my body is producing gas as way to give me a mini boost in speed. Like when you get a mushroom in Mario Kart.

All this talk of passing gas is making me want to make number twos, so that's all for this post before crap my pants.

8.31.2011

Tyrion Bitchslaps Joffrey

Watched Game of Thrones marathon a few weeks ago.

Just thought I'd share this from the obligatory hate @ Asshat Joffrey.









8.12.2011

McDonald's and Monopoly Tagged Team Me

F U Mcdonald's and your goddamn promotion. I used to be obsessed with the Monopoly board game and I love McD. When they introduced the stupid promo game as I was growing up in Toronto, I was glad that my anal Asian parents would not let me touch the fast food more than once a month, nor had I the money. Otherwise I would be all over it like a fat kid.

Now the stupid goddamn promotion game have invaded Taiwan and I was totally looking forward to it. Yes I know the probability of me getting the actual winning card I need to get a complete set is near zero. Yes I know the there is probably just one grand prize card on the entire island and it is probably someone near the most obscure mountains.

But SHIT it's McD and Monopoly!!

And what do I have to show for? I only won ONE spicy chicken sandwich. ONE!!! I hate you McD. I hate you too Monopoly. I shudder to think what's going to happen next year with the London Olympics.

Good thing I still workout hard enough to fit in my 29inch waist pants. No thanks to you Ronald.

8.08.2011

NO ONE CARES!!!

Rant on Social Networking

I like social networking sites, I frequent Facebook, Twitter, and others to read up on interesting things from other people's lives.

Except they are not mostly interesting.

Seriously, why do people find the need to broadcast every meal or every event of their lives for people to click "like" with??

How many "Daddy I love you, happy Father's Day" have I seen today? I bet 90% of those dad's don't even have a Facebook account, or they can't see the well wishing message because they are probably blocked anyways.

Or things like, "Grandma passed away, RIP grandma...I miss you." Really? Your beloved Grandma died and you are posting an I miss you post on FB?? This to me it less of an affection for Grandma but more of an "LOOK HOW GREAT I AM" post. Seriously, if there is an afterlife I'd rather sip Mai Tais baking under the sun on some fluffy cloud then finding a computer to check my FB account. That sounds like hell. Now what kind of people wishes their beloved family member to hell?

And all the food and hundreds of vacation pix, oh my GOD stop. As Betty White said on SNL, "seeing pictures of people's vacations was considered a punishment." Time to sit down for another Aunt Patty & Selma's vacation photo slide shows!!!

Maybe I should invest in a website with the URL www.nobodycares.com

/rant

7.28.2011

Blog Revival! YES!

I decided to write blogs again!!! Rejoice the whole two of you who used to read this blog (i.e. George and the dude that Googled Man Periods). Why am I doing this after all this time? Because apparently work has unblocked Blogger and Facebook and other social networking domains, and I am bored at work. Shhhhhhh.

It's great that work has unblocked Facebook. Because after all, we all have iPhones or equivalents with unlimited data plans and can access any site any time. Even the IT dudes are using it and clicking "Like" all over the place during work hours. On the other hand, people at the management levels are also on Facebook and adding lowly minions from the company to their friends list. I did not want to add them but apparently I was one of the few holding out and I still want my fat paychecks so I caved.

Then this happened:

Me on Facebook

"DIE YOU STUPID HQ FAT LARD STOP YOUR STUPID BIZ TRIP TO TW!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!" or something similar. Several of my colleagues clicked "Like" and we were all called to the meeting room the next day.

We weren't in trouble but our team manager just said to be more careful and asked me to delete the post from my wall.

Le Sigh... which is also why I came back to writing my blog. I WANT A PLACE TO BITCH, YO!

Anyhow, this will end my first comeback post. I don't know how frequent I am going to write new posts, but if needed I will just put up cute pictures of my dog, Sir Fobbington A.K.A Fobby the Fob Dog. He is my baby and he is awesome and stupid at the same time and I love him.

Yes I am one of *THOSE*